I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom. I never thought it would actually happen. I used to day dream about all of the cool and great things I would do with my kids and how I would have a clean house all the time. Well...I am about a month and a half into my new career as domestic engineer and I can tell you it is not what I thought it would be.
Not that it is bad, just different.
Three weeks ago I had the blessing of giving birth to our baby boy Kendall. He is so sweet and tiny (I don't care he was 9lbs. and people say that is not tiny...to me he is tiny). Our house is clean and I have a lot of ideas on how to be creative, but I didn't realize how much time a newborn takes.
Every second is totally worth it, but it is just a lot sometimes. When he cries, we go through the list of things that could be wrong. Wet, hungry, uncomfortable, hot, cold, gas? We can tell sometimes by the way he cries. But not always.
When I look at him, I think of how this is challenging to us and how it must be so much more for him. He has to learn everything! How to breath, eat, sleep on his own, everything!
The first time I went to the bathroom without him, I cried! For nine months he was with me constantly. All of a sudden I have to share him and trust others to be careful and take care of him. I think God knew I couldn't handle being away from him, so he allowed my job to go away.
I had all of these wonderful dreams and expectations about bringing him home. I was living in a fantasy world. Our whole experience could be in a movie. It really was nothing like I had imagined.
Here is the story:
My original due date was July 9, 2010. It got pushed back to July 8th about midway through the pregnancy. I was told that he was weighing in at 6lbs. We had my baby shower on June 19th. I felt fine but really tired. On June 21st I took Jackson to Target and ran some errands. We went to bed and around 11:20 I felt a trickle of warm water on my leg. My first thought was, "Did I just pee myself?" Then realized it was still coming out. I knew John would freak out. I gently nudged him and told him my water broke. He jumps up and starts yelling for Jackson to get up. He is running around asking me where things are. I kept telling him I had everything. I asked Jackson to get a towel and help me to the car. We get in the car and John starts driving. He goes really slow! He normally drives like a maniac!! I tell him to speed up! He did. We got to the hospital and they told me they had to test to check that it was my water that broke and not my bladder! Really? That would be very painful I would think! So they said I was in active labor. We called everyone to tell them. My parents came and got Jackson. I honestly don't remember a lot of anything except the contractions got worse and I was not dilating correctly. I only got to 6cm. The doctor gave me a choice to have a C-section or get meds. I chose C-section. I was in labor 23 hours. Kendall Alan Mason was born at 10:46 pm June 22, 2010. 9lbs 21.5 inches long. He was so beautiful. I was so groggy from the morphine in my spinal cord. I couldn't hear him at first and kept asking if he was ok. John finally brought him to me. We went to a room and Jackson came in to hold his little brother. He was a little jaundiced but other than that, he was perfect. Our lives changed forever!!
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