As most of you know, birthday's were very important to Alan! He was so funny about how he would want a surprise party, but wouldn't say it. He knew that I/we would pull through to celebrate the day of his birth. Today he would have been 37. That is unbelievable to me. In the short 33 years that he was on this Earth, he had such an impact on every person that came in contact with him. Especially me. John sometimes says that Alan and I were perfect. We were. God knew what He was doing when he allowed us to meet on that highway that hot July night in 1995.
Today I have found myself trying to figure out a way to celebrate the time Alan had here with all of us. I don't quite know how because it seems no matter what I do, it will not compare to the life we all miss so much. Sometimes it seems like such a lifetime ago, and then other times it feels just like it is happening all over again.
As I opened my eyes this morning, ironically laying in the same spot that he bravely left this world, I thought of his laugh. And weirdly enough, John laughed just like him this morning. I think Alan helped John find me and I am so grateful for that. Alan knew I could not live life alone, and he knew John would be good for me.
I just wanted to tell you all that I am thinking of all of you today as we all still grieve in our own way and I want you to know that even though everyone may not agree with what the others do, we all still need love.
There are some broken relationships within this group of email lists and I pray everyday that reconciliation will come. We are all just longing for love and acceptance. Just as Alan embraced life so whole heartedly, I pray each of you do. At least for today!
Alan always said life is a journey. When things are bad, cry for only a moment and then just do what you can to make things better.
I love you all!
Happy Birthday Houka!
